Writing a novel is like going a great distance to take a small shit. - Harlan Ellison
The two most common elements in the universe are Hydrogen and stupidity. - Harlan Ellison
The two most abundant things in the universe are Hydrogren and stupidity. - Harlan Ellison
Love ain't nothing but sex misspelled. - Harlan Ellison
Like the wind crying endlessly through the universe, Time carries away the names and the deeds of conquerors and commoners alike. And all that we are, all that remains, is in the memories of those who cared we came this way for a brief moment. - Harlan Ellison
A writer who writes more than he reads is an amateur. - Harlan Ellison
You are not entitled to your opinion. You are entitled to your informed opinion. No one is entitled to be ignorant. - Harlan Ellison
If you make people think they're thinking, they'll love you; but if you really make them think, they'll hate you. - Harlan Ellison
Don't start an argument with somebody who has a microphone when you don't. They'll make you look like chopped liver. - Harlan Ellison
Now begin in the middle, and later learn the beginning; the end will take care of itself. - Harlan Ellison
I can't picture in my mind three hundred and sixty thousand dollars... When I think of it, all I can see in my mind is a big nickel. - Harlan Ellison
Thus, from admiration of one wise and innocent child, and from a misheard remark, the process that not even Aristotle could codify was triggered. Where do you get your ideas? I purposely mishear things. - Harlan Ellison